Monday, July 11, 2011

Review: Rich Bitch Doll

Are you troubled by lingering class resentment? Does every episode of Sex and the City make you want to beat Carrie with her Manolos, and then hate yourself because you know who Carrie is and what Manolos are? Do you furtively pleasure yourself to Fashion Week press coverage, all while feeling that you are betraying the blue-collar values of your unionized brethren?

If so, perhaps you could take out your class-based aggression (or just your resentment against women in general!) on the Rich Bitch Doll and her "three bitchin' holes!"

According to the packaging: "She has uptown tastes but downtown needs!" Downtown needs? This leads me to either of two possible responses:
  1. Aren't most people's needs (ahem) "downtown"?

    or, possibly,

  2. What are people doing down in Battery Park City that I don't know about?!
Here I am, of course, reminded of the immortal words of Billy Joel:
Uptown girl She’s been living in her uptown world I bet she never had a back street guy I bet her mama never told her why
I'm not sure the phrase "back street guy" still means what Billy Joel thinks it does.
Click to buy!

16 comments:

misterniceguy1960 said...

With RealDolls starting at $2,000, something tells me that for $51.25, you don't get anything that looks like the picture on the box.

Whenever I hear that tune, I always supply my own lyrics:

Uptown girl, she's been living in her whitebread world
Now she's goin' with a backstreet guy
Who writes reviews for Factsheet Five

I wonder if anybody but me remembers Factsheet Five.

A piercer I know refers to labia piercing as "going downtown", but I think she's referring metaphorically to locations on the body.

And that reminds me of the woman who loved San Francisco so much she had Market Street tattooed on her belly "to connect Twin Peaks to the Waterfront".

misterniceguy1960 said...

Long time no post. Have you run out of toys, or just out of sarcasm?

Lee of Bee said...

Hahaha, though Billy Joel definitely dressed like a back street guy! Too funny.

The picture on the box is funny too.. I mean what actually makes her 'rich' and a 'bitch'? ...is it the porn star with an extra long pearl necklace look??

Judging by the raging inferno in the background, it looks like her obvious downtown need is the fire department.

sasha said...

wtf, you need to post more! should i send you some toys? i have plenty...

marc aurel said...

Very apt and quite interesting

Alisha Greene said...

i like your blog write back please

Alisha Greene said...

tell sasha please i want some toys

BlueLoverGirl said...

blow up dolls. fun. I bought "Jack" as a gag gift for my best friend's bachelorette party. We really abused poor jack. We kicked him, threw him, and molested him. He was the life of many parties after that, until he was kicked one too many times and lost his air. We were very sad to see Jack go.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for loving or hating the artwork and copy writing skills on the box - at least someone noticed! It was so long ago - and I had a sly grin writing that tag line.


Sign me,

The Hand

xandria products said...

cool! i love it. looks the same as the dolls from http://www.xandria-products.com. I love it.

Sex Toys said...

That's too cheap for a good doll. Need some more toys? I can afford to give some away :)

Shaun McGowan said...

I agree with Mr Nice Guy. For 51.25 you're better off looking for Vibrators

dildos said...

There are so many toy and doll available for sex but this doll is very cheap and looking awesome so thanks for nice stuff.

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Sex Doll Lover said...

The packaging on that Rich bitch sex doll looks really tempting as the girl looks stunning. Thing is, you don't get any images of the actual doll :o(

I've found a site that offers some well-reviewed sex dolls, including the Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbators (which are amazing!).

Check them out:

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Hope it helps.

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