Thursday, January 19, 2012

Review: 8" Realistic Cock W/E-Z Rider Ball

While my job here is to mock erotic novelties that look especially ungratifying, I must say that the 8" Realistic Cock W/E-Z Rider Ball does look like a person might receive her money's worth; sure, it's $73.25, but it's really quite a lot of sex toy.

That being said, the 8" Realistic Cock W/E-Z Rider Ball is clearly a replica of a common child's toy (sold here at Amazon as the "Ball Bounce & Sport Fun Hopper") that has, as Joshua Grosvent so eloquently put it, "gone sprung a dick."


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My primary question is: just where in a Manhattan apartment does one keep an inflatable dildo ball? It appears that the dildo is removable, meaning I could perhaps store the dildo in a dresser drawer and camouflage the inflatable ball as a mere children's toy, hoping that no actual children visit and begin playing with it, because that would be creepy. However, not many adult women keep any type of inflatable toy balls around, so it would still be a bit suspicious, and besides, it is flesh-colored.

The other option would be to not only detach the dildo but also deflate the ball every time I store the 8" Realistic Cock W/E-Z Rider Ball, which means I'd have to blow it back up every time I wanted to use it, which is not generally a suitable "mood-setting" activity. Even if you're just trying to treat yourself right, no one wants to stop and inflate their E-Z ball (or worse yet, pull out the bike pump).

I suppose you could just store the whole thing upright in a closet, ready for action. Maybe toss a sweater over it.

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