Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Review: Inflatable Bondage Chair

I read a joke today that prompted me to go review an S&M product for you:
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

"What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband.

"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a sadomasochistic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?"

"Well," replied the man... "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
Mmn-hmmn. And if you're looking for some good, wholesome S&M, why not try the inflatable bondage chair?
You will be bound to please your partner with this versatile Inflatable Bondage chair. Made of soft and comfortable materials, this chair is like sitting on cloud. The wrist and ankle restraints are padded to be comfortable for those naughty little encounters. The Velcro straps are adjustable to fit most sizes. Always use caution with restraint devices.
Because nothing says sexy like "KMart dorm furniture that requires a bicycle pump."

In what way is this chair "versatile"? You can strap someone into it in a normal sitting position. If you tried to put the person into some other position (rump up?) the chair would probably tip over. It needs a counterweight. This chair seems patently incompatible with heavy S&M, acupuncture, knife play, particularly pointy high heels, and that fun thing where one of you dresses up like a Transformer.

Also, regarding the picture on the box -- if you strap a woman into a chair before removing her one-piece leotard, you are too stupid to fuck.

Click to buy!

"It's Bound to Please!" Oh, ha.

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